


Versions of Herself

by ItspronouncedJulia



Series: There is the task, there is the burden [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parenting, Damaged Relationship, Failing miserably, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Self-Hatred, horrible parenting, trying to do what's right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:28:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9454985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItspronouncedJulia/pseuds/ItspronouncedJulia
Summary: Currently there was no version of herself that Maryse Lightwood could say she liked.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Never in my entire life did I ever fathom myself using the 'bad parent Maryse Lightwood ' tag. I love Maryse and Izzy so much and I really hope that their relationship grows and becomes significantly less shitty in the show. Maryse needs to get her act together.

Maryse wanted to apologize but the words always seemed to stick to her throat. Maryse wanted to be better but her criticisms flew out of her mouth faster than she could stop them.

Why was it like that? Why was it hard to say the good and easy to say the bad? Why had she always been like that? So selfish and stubborn that she couldn't change herself, not even for her daughter.

The thing was Maryse saw so much of herself in Isabelle. Looking at her Izzy was like looking into a mirror and seeing her younger self which scared the shit of her considering how stupid her younger self had been.

And she was afraid that Isabelle would become the woman she had been but more recently Maryse had considered the fact that Isabelle becoming the woman Maryse currently _is_ was a somewhat scarier thought.

To imagine Isabelle being as cold, controlling, angry, bitter and unhappy as Maryse was churned her stomach.

Putting it simply Maryse didn't want her daughter to become like her. Any version of her. So she pushed her away and she criticized her and she loved her from distance.

Which was hard and terrible and foolish and Maryse did want a better relationship with Isabelle but it was too late now. Her daughter was almost an adult and Maryse had damaged their relationship too badly for their to be anything now.

Isabelle probably didn't want anything to do with her which was for the best and completely understandable. Most days Maryse didn't even want anything to do with herself.

But that didn't matter anyway. Maryse had one job which was to protect her family. She had to make sure her children were safe. That's what she's always done and that's what she would always do. Even if that meant keeping Isabelle safe from herself.


End file.
